Seventh

It’s now been seven years since I started this blog. Life is very different now, lots of changes have happened, and I continuously avoid writing down any the major ones despite the catharcism that I find in writing.

I also avoid writing about the smaller things when I’m in this position too, because that feels like admitting I’m avoiding talking about the big things. Avoiding my own avoidance, what a strange concept. I should probably keep writing even when it’s not writing about the big things, but it’s like I get a mental block when there’s an elephant in the room.

Last Year

When I wrote my end-of-2020 post, I had a very different vision of how 2021 was going to pan out. I wrote a lot about Danny, my now ex-fiancée. I wrote goals about spending more time with her and our dogs, two of which I haven’t seen for months now. I miss them so much. Ending the relationship was the right decision for me, but also the hardest decision I have ever made. I’m seeing someone new now, and I’m incredibly happy, but strangely I don’t feel ready to write about her yet. Mental health is a strange beast.

2021 Goals

After turning my life upside down in early 2021, I largely forgot about the goals I had made this time last year. They felt like goals for a different version of myself, I didn’t feel connected to them after changing my life entirely. Looking back at them, I was on-track for the majority up until March / April time when I split with Danny, but only a few were actually achieved:

Zero cigarettes

Yes, although I do still vape, and probably have a stronger nicotine addiction now than I’ve ever had before. Oh well.

Get a new PB

New PBs in the 5k (18:36, 17:10 assisted) and the half-marathon (1:31:07) this year. I’ve been in good shape, and I still feel like there’s a little further to go for sure.

Don’t reduce savings

A big help here was my bonus from work, but my savings are looking a little better than this time last year. I’m settled in the new flat with a comfortable level of expenditure, which has been extremely helpful for my mental health too, I no longer feel like I’m just treading water.

2022

This year, I’m not writing any specific goals down. Yes, there are definitely things I’d like to achieve (running PBs, writing more, reading more), but for this year I’m going to follow CGP Grey’s advice and instead set a theme for the year, which will be the Year of Language

I have really enjoyed learning languages (and indeed one of last year’s goals was to speak more German), and I want to continue with this. Maybe this will be a lot more Duolingo and Lingvist lessons, maybe it’ll be enrolling in language courses, maybe it’ll be travelling to try and immerse myself in speaking. I don’t know. But I am hoping to improve myself in this area this year. It’s not about setting a target, it’s about making little decisions to improve the trend line.

2022 is also the year I will be turning 30. I am absolutely not looking forward to that, so I guess a little secondary goal is to not be too sad about getting old. But that is also my goal every year, so we’ll see how that pans out.